LIFE

You've heard the saying, "Life is what you make it" which is true. But, for those that are going through some changes in their life and some difficult choices to make - Let me extend a hand.  This is a favorite poem of mine and I would like personally to share it with you.

I hope this too will give you some comfort.

What is my life meant to be?

Am I supposed to stay here

and do something with myself or leave?

Am I supposed to save dying children

from a life of poverty and aids

or am I to be narcissistic

and only reflect on my own pain?

What is my life meant to be?

Am I to touch people with my music and my words

or am I to be selfish

and live in my own world?

Should I pray to stay

that I live my life to be free

or should I be caged like an animal

my rage hindering me?

What is my life meant to be?

Should I deny the people

become a professor and teach one pupil

that no matter who you are if you believe you can

you can reach the stars?

What is my life meant to be?

How can I help someone

when I'm ashamed,

when I'm afraid,

when I'm disgraced,
a vessel here only wasting space?

What is my life meant to be?

I met an old homeless man on the street

and asked him, "What am I to do?"

The old homeless man

grinned and scratched his chin and said.

"The only way to get out is to get through."

Written by

Victoria Dugger

Copyright 2009 - All Rights Reserved

Visit my website and view more about me and my work @ http://www.dreamgirlbooks.com/

Get a copy of Mutts and Thoroughbreds:A Girls' Guide today
@ www.Amazon.com and its now an eBook @ Google Books.
Become a Follower of this Blog.

The Most Beautiful Woman In The World!

One of the things that I like to do is observe nature and people interacting with one another. I especially like to observe mothers interacting with their children. I observe our similarities and differences on how I raise my own. I believe that we all are creatively and wonderfully made by God. Many of us are compassionate, nurturing beings and as women we want our equal share in this world. We have a lot on our plate. Most of us work 9 to 5 or more dealing with office drama. We have to deal with the big boss and all the other wanna be bosses. We have to deal with TV advertisement marketing pitch that we are either too fat or too skinny. And as a mother, we take on many roles; doctor, medicine man, chef, sports coach, lawyer, pastor, social worker, administrator, maid, etc..The list goes on forever. We are a very important person in our children lives. In our child(rens) world we are everything. We are the one person that should make their life safe and secure. Our love and words are worth more than gold and platinum. For most we are the air they breathe.

In one of my day travels, I was in a store doing a little marketing for my book "Mutts and Thoroughbreds:A Girls' Guide" @ http://www.amazon.com/ and just conversing about life and taking time out of our busy lives to devote more time to our outer beauty. In the midst of the conversation, one of the mothers said that she doesn't believe she's beautiful. I had to ask her again is this really what she thinks, she said, "yes." I had to ask her why? She said, "In her eyes other women were more beautiful than she." I told her to the contrary, in Gods world she was wonderfully and beautifully made. Sometimes we get so bogged down caring for everyone else but ourselves as women. More often, we don't feel appreciated of all the hard work that we do and the long hours that we put in on a daily basis to make everything just right. I know we don't get the many thanks that we deserve but you do what you have to do to keep a roof of your families head and food on the table. Because of this some of us forget about our inner and outer beauty.

I told her to never forget what I am about to tell her because you are the most beautiful person in the world. She had a little boy with her and I asked if that was her son, she said, "yes." I told her that when her son looks at his mother; he doesn't care if she's not on the cover of Victoria Secrets wearing a swimsuit and air brushed. He doesn't care if she doesn't wear the title of  Miss America or Miss Universe. He doesn't care that your nose isn't perfectly aligned asymmetrically with your face. He doesn't see that your dress isn't Vera Wang exclusive. He doesn't see that your teeth aren't perfectly white and straight. He doesn't see that you need a boob lift, lipo or a tummy tuck. It doesn't bother him if you don't have on make up or not. He doesn't care about all those imperfections that you wish you could get rid of.

Let me tell you about the most beautiful woman in his world. The most beautiful woman in the world to him is the one he calls "Mom." Your touch is soft as silk. Your words are soothing and benevolent. Your eyes makes him feel safe and protected. He loves you more than you love yourself. In his eyes you are perfect just the way you are. So don't ever say you aren't beautiful because to your beautiful child - You are the most beautiful woman in the world!  After this...She looked at her son who was looking at his mother with a confused look..She cried and hugged him.

For those women who don't think they are beautiful - Look at your child - You are Beautiful!

I appreciate your valuable time to read my blog. It really means a lot to me and I want to personally thank your for it. In my day to day travels, I meet a lot of people. I like meeting and talking to people from all backgrounds and walks of life. I believe this helps me to be a better person and I most certainly learn something new everyday. Thank you.

Visit my website and view more about me and my work @ http://www.dreamgirlbooks.com/

Get a copy of Mutts and Thoroughbreds:A Girls' Guide today
@ www.Amazon.com and its now an eBook @ Google Books.
Become a Follower of this Blog.

INSTINCTS and LIES - Part II

I woke up this morning so blessed to be alive. I have my wonderful family and my delicious cup of coffee that seems to always have too much hazelnut creme. I woke up with excitement because I can't wait to tell you the rest of the story of how "I faced the rod from hell." I hope this doesn't sound cliche, but if you really understand how precious life really is and how each one of us was creatively and wonderfully made by God...then you really would know how beautiful the roses smell. Only humans were given inner power of Instincts to save a life and the power to tell lies that sometimes kill. So let me tell you what I mean:

      If you remember in Part I of "Instincts and Lies," I left off with my daughter and I being trapped inside the car with a very pregnant woman shouting profanity, beating the car door and window with the rod that Moses parted the Dead Sea with. She was trying desperately to rip me and my daughter's head off right? Well, girly there was no way out of this car...My daughter was sitting in my lap and we were literally trapped. She(pregnant female) was doing what women naturally do...they blame the other woman, not their cheating man! At the same time, she is trying to open the car door to get to me, I'm trying to hold the door handle so that she could not harm a strand of hair or skin on my daughter's frightened body. Also with this lunatic trying to hurt me, the only thing I can thing about now is my daughter. My motherly instincts kicked into red alert and it was going to be dual to the last one standing. I forgot about the "law" at this point, and how the prosecutor was going to paint me as this malicious jealous female. I forgot about how the Ledger Enquirer newspaper was going to headline the story, "Woman kills unborn child over a Man."  I forgot about my life and how it would change. I forgot about my parents, sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles and how much they loved me. Knowing that she did not care about my child...I did not care about the one she was carrying...forgive me girl, but at the time..it was true because she didn't care about mine. The only thing I knew for sure that I was going to protect what was mine(my daughter). I forgot about everything else.

     I know my life would have changed if this woman had opened the car door or broke the window. My daughter could have been badly injured or worse. I could have been facing 30 years to life for murder in the first  or second degree. I'm sorry if I have offended you in telling this story but this is what could have happened. I felt that I had to let you know where my mind was at the time and how I was feeling because this all happened because of lies someone told. Innocent people could have gotten killed because of someone selfish greed, infidelity, lies and deceit.

    Do you want to know what John was doing at this point? Looking like a FOOL and this liar that I didn't know made me look like one too! He was denying that he knew this crazy woman. But, I knew better - I knew he was a liar. Girl, I couldn't believe I went against my instinct. Girlfriend, I was madder than mad - I called him some everything I could think of but the child of God, I had too! 

    You know when things are happening to you..they seem like it goes on forever, but this incident all took place within a matter of minutes and was over in a matter of minutes. The police finally came and thank God somebody called. Now, I have to remind you this was waaaaaaaaay before cell phones were invented! When the police arrived they cleared away the traffic build up and on lookers. Meanwhile, the pregnant female was still irate, sweating, mad and saying this was her husband and that he was in the car with another woman, she said. The policeman ask John was this woman his wife and he still lied, denying that he knew this woman who was approximately 9 months pregnant. I knew if he sat there and denied his wife and his unborn child, what he would do to me! I could not believe that I put myself and my precious daughter in the hands of an unsafe person...I just couldn't believe it! I couldn't believe how he could still go on with this lie. I knew he was a pathological liar. The policeman asked me who I was and I told him that this was my first time with this man. I demanded John to take us home. In the meantime, the police held John's wife at bay so that she would not pursue the vehicle.

     Girlfriend, seeing the frightened look on my daughter's face and what I had put her through, I had some choice words for John, and I quote, "AS LONG AS YOU @!*%(POOP) BETWEEN TWO SHOES, YOU ARE NEVER TO LOOK AT ME AGAIN, YOU BETTER NOT CALL ME NOR SAY MY NAME ...EVER AS LONG AS YOU LIVE! YOU ARE A DANGER TO SOCIETY! After this girly, It was like I had a restraining order against him because I didn't see him around anymore. Now that I look back on it I could have been the first Anita Hill or the first to sue a married man. 

     Let me tell you my mistakes: (1) I should not have taken my daughter along because I "didn't know this man in the first place and my instincts were against him in the beginning. By doing this I put my daughter's life at risk. Had he been a predator - and in a way he was..he got both of us. (2) I should have never talked myself or allowed someone else to talk against my God given "instincts."

     I've seen John's wife over the years, at one time we were going to the same hair dresser. I knew she remembered my face like I remembered hers, but we never spoke nor did we have any harsh looks or words. As the years passed, I had a burning desire to comfront this woman and tell her the truth...and that someday came.  It's something about being in your 40's ...you don't hold things in anymore. So, one day, I got the chance to approach her and she was cordial..let me remind you this was twenty years later. I got a chance to tell my side of the story and of course, she remembered the incident. And of course, she said, what most women who decides to stay with their cheating man would say, "he didn't go anywhere," he's still with me. You know as women, we have to throw in the one-two punch! That was okay with me because I just wanted her to know that he lied and said that he was not married. Humm..I thought to myself, "girl you look like you have had some miserable times being married to that dweeb." And after I got this off of my chest,  I felt great and crossed this off of my life to do list.

 The End

 

Visit my website and view more about me and my work @ http://www.dreamgirlbooks.com/

Get a copy of Mutts and Thoroughbreds:A Girls' Guide today @ www.Amazon.com and its now an eBook @ Google Books.

Instincts and Lies

I  woke up this morning to the sound of rain drops hitting against my window sill. I love to see the drip drops of the rain falling on earth; I don't know about you, but it gives me a calm, peaceful feeling. Before I hurry to the kitchen to get my homemade latte going, I grab my long red cotton robe that I've had for about five years now and I slip on my very comfy leopard house slippers...humm nothing like a good ole pair of house slippers that have seen better days. Some how, I just feel connected to these worn out slippers. Today, I'm having an extra renewed sense of gratitude. I am especially grateful and blessed that I'm alive. I'm blessed that I am able to smell the aroma of my delicious coffee purculating in the coffee pot. It's such a great smell and I thank God for it all. You see, I'm going to get a little personal with you this morning and tell you a true story that happened to me in my twenties. You see every living organism is born with this extra sensory motor that's invisible to the eye called "Instinct" that some humans overlook. You know that nervous feeling, maybe sweaty feeling, the chill on the arm that makes your hair stand up, those goosebumps and even your heart starts pumping a little faster beat feeling. Your Instinct is a natural built in alarm that lets you know that you are approaching danger or that you are staring danger right in the face. Some humans tend to ignore this invisible feeling called "instinct" because we seem to have the ability to debate against ourselves and "smack dab" into danger. Unlike animals not recognizing their built in alarm system means falling prey for another animals dinner.

      Well in my early twenties, I was a  hard working young single parent and an attractive young lady...not that I'm not attractive now, it's just that in my twenties you know the skin was much tighter.LOL. I was juggling a 40 hr work week and trying everyday to beat the clock on the 08:00am hour. No matter how hard I tried to be at work on time, it just seems that I would always hit the door at 08:01. Then I had to deal with this boss who would clock me down to the second and I only wanted to send him straight to the abyss! I was also trying to be the best mother for my daughter and being very cautious not to expose her to unsafe people. I didn't introduce my daughter to every man I casually dated because I was always cautious of those unsafe people. Another reason I didn't introduce my daughter to every date is because not every man I had a conversation with or a lunch date was compatible to me; therefore, they weren't worthy enough to meet my daughter. This was my own single parent rule.

     We all know that dating people on your job is not good right? Well, this was one dating rule that I was always cautious about. Besides your job can be a breeding ground for runaway gossip and besides I really tried to keep my business to myself and nobody at work interest me anyway. But you know, you are going to get that hound that is going to try to chase you regardless.  I notice at work that this guy I'm going to name "John" was interested in me. I didn't want to give him the time of day because it was just something about him that I didn't have a good feeling about. He kept asking me out and I kept turning him down mainly because I thought he was married. So, I would not give him the time of day, but at the same time I thought maybe...just maybe I was being to hard on myself.  Finally, we all know that the devil is going to find a loophole to get in. So, John sent one of his friends to try and convince me to give him a chance. So the devils' partner did his job and convinced me that John was on the straight and narrow. So with this news, I accepted Johns' offer of a date against all the bells and whistles.  Besides, I could take my daughter along to this Saturday matinee (I thought). So what could possibly go wrong?

     On the day of the date the sun was shining bright and the weather was great, not a rainy cloud in the sky. I saw John's spit shine maroon Camero pull up in the drive way so, me and my daughter got in to the car. On the way there to the movie theatre the conversation was casual and the date was going okay and my four year old daughter was sitting quietly in the back seat. As we approached the theater, I noticed that the road to the theatre was a bit heavy with traffic. I also noticed that it was a little commotion going on about three cars up. As the cars moved up and we got closer to the theatre, I notice this car coming straight toward us. I became a bit panicky and some how managed to grab my daughter from the back seat. I don't know why...I just did. I was  frightened for me and my daughter. I thought the car was going to hit us head on. I couldn't believe what was happening because this tan Toyota Camry barely missed the front bumper of Johns' car. I didn't know what to think except this person must be crazy! At this point John's car was blocked by this tan Toyota Camry and traffic was backed up on both ends. Cars were honking, people were yelling and I just couldn't believe my eyes! So with this going on I'm thinking to myself, "where is the police when you need them." Suddenly, a huge swollen pregnant female about nine months carrying a BIG stick leaped out of the car. She had in her hand what looked like the rod Moses parted the Red Sea with. She was yelling, cursing and screaming profanity you wouldn't believe from the top of her lungs! On her face you could read death to them all. At the same time she was doing this..she was walking straight toward my side of the vehicle, and at this point, John says in a loud voice,"lock the car doors!" You see back then you didn't have the automatic door locks. Friend, if you could only imagine the fear I had in my heart and how I feared for my daughter's life! The only thing I could think of at this point like any mother hen was saving my offspring. Girlfriend, I want you to know my motherly hen instincts kicked into high gear! I'm going to be honest friend - This was my worst nightmare! 

To Be Continued... 

 Follow me friends for Part II of Instincts and Lies. You don't want to miss this telling story of how I went to "hell and back!"